Death by Chocolate.

I ask you this simple question: what’s the perfect reward for doing an hour-and-a-half long dance class?

Max Brenner, that’s what. After 90 minutes of blood, sweat, tears (mainly on my part – I really can’t dance) and intense calorie-burning, fat loads of chocolate are the only way to end the evening.

Now all this exercise is purely hypothetical – two very bad senses of direction meant we never made it to said dance class. But my flatmate and I decided to indulge in excessive chocolate consumption anyway. It was kind of reminiscent of the time we went to the gym five years ago, only to find we had to be over 16 and thus couldn’t get in, so bought a jar of Nutella and some dinner rolls and sat on the side of the road and devoured the whole lot. Glad to see our good sense hasn’t changed since.

I’m currently suffering severe chest pains due to the choc-a-thon (?) but it was so worth it. The Bald Man never fails to bring a smile to my face and a very content bulge to my belly.

Admittedly this wasn’t the cheapest meal I’ve had, but when faced with entry fees at clubs that cost the same (if not more) I know which one I’d choose. The chocolatey goodness of Max Brenner always ensures a pleasant night out but an overpacked club just makes me resent people of my own age.

Yesterday was payday so my flatmate decided to go all out with the Banana Praline Crepes ($14.50), two neatly folded, paper-thin pancakes housing a chocolate, nut and caramel filling with big bursts of banana. The filling was deliciously oozy, perfect for mopping up with the pancake. The addition of ice cream ensured it wasn’t too cloyingly sweet, the refreshing coolness a welcome change between bites of warm chocolate and very sugary caramel.

Banana Praline Crepes

I chose a slightly cheaper option, the Chocolate Cinnamon Babka cake ($6.50) with a side of strawberries ($3) to at least pretend I was being healthy. The babka is a yeasty sponge cake originating from Eastern Europe, often made with raisins. In this instance the dough is made with cinnamon, with dark chocolate coiled up inside, making it almost like a tall chocolate snail. As well as the insane abundance of chocolate inside, it is served with a small pot of melted chocolate that, although probably unnecessary, makes the whole thing deliciously scrumptious. Again the obscene amount of chocolate was a little overbearing. The strawberries, like the ice cream, provided a nice, slightly sour balance to the sugar.

Chocolate Cinnamon Babka.

You might be thinking that we finished the night here. But you’d be wrong. I broke my budget and daily calorie intake by ordering the Italian Hot Chocolate ($6) with dark chocolate. At a time where Sydney is experiencing record low temperatures, the comforting warmth of the hot chocolate was very well received. Max Brenner serve their hot chocolates in the famous Hug Mug, an egg-shaped mug that at first seems bizarre but is actually perfect for, well, hugging with your hands. The Italian Hot Chocolate is made with some sort of magic cream that makes it thick and almost like a dense custard – my flatmate called it ‘a liquid orgasm’. To me, it’s the ideal Winter treat.

Italian Hot Chocolate.

Our plates were scraped clean, our faces smeared with chocolate and our hearts beating rapidly after the massive sugar rush. Mine continues to pound against my chest, often painfully, leading me to believe that the title of this post could be a little more literal than originally intended.

Max Brenner Chocolate Bar

Shop MG 24, Metcentre, 273 George Street NSW 2000

Phone: 02 9251 7788