I’d Tapenade That Part II. Or, I’m too lazy to devise a clever title.

I’d like to tell you that the reason I haven’t posted in almost two months is because I’ve spent my summer break in Mykonos, lazing about beside the azure waters of the Mediterranean drinking ouzo and developing a steamy romance with a charming, muscular and deeply tanned Greek boy named Kostos.

But the sad reality is that I’ve actually been watching re-runs of Project Runway and eating cheese. So really, I’ve got no excuse.

Amongst all this laziness, however, my flatmates and I found the time to host an evening soiree (how’s that for tautology?) so we could show our parents our new abode. Now don’t get ahead of yourself here and assume I spent hours in the kitchen preparing. Oh, no. Instead I decided what I was going to make roughly three hours before they were due to arrive.

But the beauty of this recipe is that it only really takes half an hour to prepare and most of the ingredients can be found in your cupboard or fridge. It builds on a recipe I devised a few months back, albeit with a little more pompousness thrown in for good measure. Green olive tapenade* spirals are an easy and cheap addition to any soiree, evening or otherwise (which doesn’t really make sense) and are also quite delicious. Plus you might be able to get away with telling people you learned the recipe off a little old Greek woman on your trip abroad.

*As a side note, my computer tried to auto correct ‘tapenade’ to ‘tapeworm’. Well, I thought it was funny. But I’ve also spent the last two months in front of my television.

Green Olive Tapenade Spirals.

Green Olive Tapenade Spirals

Makes 32

1 quantity of green olive tapenade (recipe found here)

4 sheets of puff pastry, thawed

olive oil to brush

 

1. Preheat the oven to 200C and grease two baking trays.

2. Cut each sheet of pastry into eight strips.

3. On one end of each strip, place a small dollop of tapenade and roll into a spiral.

4. Repeat with remaining pastry.

5. Place the spirals on baking trays and lightly brush each one with olive oil.

6. Bake in the oven for around 15 minutes or until golden brown.

I’d Tapenade That.

Many, many, many apologies for the 9-day hiatus. We finally got a new apartment after relentlessly fighting in the vicious and bloody battleground that is the Sydney rental market. Viewing after viewing, application after application, rejection after rejection; it’s a savage bloodbath. To all you students considering moving out of home: don’t.

OK, so it’s not that bad. We only really applied for five places and some applications I did slightly intoxicated so my experience probably isn’t much to go by. And living out of home, minus the hours spent cleaning and arguing with your flatmate about cleaning, is pretty sweet.

But yep, we got a new apartment. So my time has been spent scouring and scrubbing and sanitising our apartment in time to move out. But we decided to take a quick break from our frenzied clean up to celebrate with a big bottle of champagne (read: $8 sparkling wine) and food. I’ve told you before about my burgeoning love affair with my blender and am about to bore you again with its excellence. Not only does it make fantastic hummus, lo and behold its also a great tool for making olive tapenade. I’ve loved tapenade for as long as I can remember: it’s salty, oily and can be paired with cheese. Perfect in my books.

Normally I’d prefer to use kalamata olives for this recipe, but they’re bloody expensive. Stuffed green olives are a good substitute though, and have a slightly more delicate flavour. Fresh herbs really lift the tapenade but if they’re not available or too pricey, I suppose you could do without.

Keep the tapenade in the fridge for up to a month and use on toast, sandwiches, pasta or with crackers. Whip it out when entertaining or at the end of your rental crusade.

Green olive tapenade.

Green Olive Tapenade

400g stuffed green olives

1 clove garlic

2 TBSP chopped flat leaf parsley

2 TBSP extra virgin olive oil

squeeze of lemon juice

pepper

1. Place the olives, garlic and parsley in a blender and pulse until well combined.

2. With the motor running, add the olive oil and lemon juice.

3. Season with pepper to taste.

4. Transfer to a bowl and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Impromptu Guacamole.

When making my trip to the local supermarket, I intended to leave only with a bag of self-raising flour, a block of dark chocolate and an onion (don’t get too excited here – some of my recipes may be weird but that’s just pushing it) but fate, or a large sign advertising cheap food, instead led me to an enormous bucket of overripe avocados.

Normally I’m afraid of even going near avocados at the supermarket. I worry I’ll do something completely irrational – like buying one. Lately I’ve only ever seen them hovering around the $3-4 per unit mark and have subsequently avoided them so as to prevent any outlandish spending. But today, these little green beauties were only 99c each. Yeah, you heard right.

I bought three with the intention of savouring them over a few days but as I got home, remembered I had a friend to entertain tonight. I grabbed whatever we had on hand (and, although sacrilegious, used white vinegar instead of lime) and whipped up some very basic, but very delicious, guacamole.

To me, nothing gets a party started better than a giant bowl of guacamole goodness. But clearly I need to get out more.

Guacamole.

Guacamole

Serves 2-3

2 large ripe avocados

1 TBSP mayonnaise (preferable good quality whole-egg – that sugary stuff is just weird)

1 tsp dried chilli flakes

1 TBSP white vinegar

salt and pepper

* You can add fresh coriander, garlic and tomato to this to make it more authentic. You can also use sour cream instead of mayonnaise – I just didn’t have any lying around.

1. Scoop out the flesh of the avocados and place in a large bowl.

2. Add the mayonnaise, chilli and vinegar and mash to combine.

3. Season well with salt and pepper.

4. Serve.